Potty training...a phrase that parents of toddlers can often fear and loathe. And since even the youngest children and babies can pick up on their parents' emotions, that fear and loathing can be passed on, making toilet training a stressful and negative experience.
For this reason, the first step in getting your child out of diapers is not buying a potty or pinning up that sticker chart, but adjusting your own attitude. Yes, we usually say the child needs to be able to walk up the stairs and pull his or her own pants up and down, but the parents also need to be ready.
Embrace the mess
Start by letting your child walk around the house with no nappy on regularly for a week or two. Summer is the best time for this, and if they can go in and out to the yard, all the better. Now...relax. Sooner or later your child will let out a wee or, horror, even a poo. Your response is crucial. Loud shrieking, hand waving and scolding is not what we're going for here.
Both my boys were fascinated when they were first released from their nappies, and watched with considerable delight when that arc of yellow liquid poured out. Who knew! By all means clean it up promptly, but take the opportunity to discuss it in a neutral way, for example, "You did a wee wee. I do mine in the toilet." Don't worry, nobody else is listening.
Clear the calendar
When you embark on your toilet training adventure, begin by clearing the calendar for a week. Choose a time when you have no commitments outside the home. Ask friends to call in and visit instead of going out. Toddlers have short attention spans, and if you distract them with a playground or a pond full of ducks, you are only setting them up for failure. It can be stressful on the parent too, as you worry about having enough dry pants, or the etiquette for when your child pees on your friend's white sofa.
Accidents are good
In the first couple of days you will have more misses than hits. You will be doing a lot of wiping so keep plenty of cloths and cleaning products handy. So called "accidents" are the only way your child can learn to connect the feeling of needing to "go" with the end result. If you could explain it in words, you wouldn't need to read this article. Your toddler is not to be criticised for making a mess. Your comments could be more along the lines of, "That one went on the floor. Next time you can try to put it in the potty."
Commit to the programme
If your child's interest is not engaged or they are set firmly against the programme it may be wise to go back to diapers completely and wait at least a month before trying again. However, if the child is showing interest, try not to get disheartened and go back to diapers after a few days. Every puddle on the floor brings the child one step closer to understanding what this potty business is all about. Give your toddler and yourself a clear run at it, and you could be graduating with honours in less than a week.
Sheila Ryan - A freelance journalist and mother of three small boys, Sheila Ryan has a degree in psychology and English, and a short temper when ...
